For instance, if one of you has just landed a big promotion in a high-stress career whilst the other is pregnant with their first child, you may no longer be able to relate to one another in the same way. It can be hard to make time for meaningful conversations with friends. Men and women alike have a tendency to spend less time with their friends when they enter a serious relationship. This is natural — when you fall in love, you want to see them all the time. If you neglect your friends, they may become annoyed that you are putting a new relationship before them.
If you have caught your friend out in a lie or discovered that they have betrayed you in some way, your friendship will never be the same again. Trust takes a long time to build but can be torn down in seconds. Even if the two of you decide to make up and start afresh, there will probably be an emotional barrier between you that may never come down.
I found it hard to move on for months. I thought about my old friendships with a great sense of loss, and spent a lot of time consulting family and friends. I could not just forget about all we had shared for the decades before, could I?
My mind was heavy with anxiety. One evening after a busy week at work, I turned to my yoga practice for some much needed clarity. During the class my instructor repeated a phrase she had said often, but it hit me with a deep profoundness, providing me with a completely new perspective on my situation.
I loved my friends and all we had shared. I could take something from those memories and forgive the natural ebbs and flows of life that had moved us apart. Foremost, I could forgive myself. There was a new view that I could adopt in order to make sense of the changes and loss I experienced in seeing my old friendships fade. I realized that there were three basic understandings that could guide me toward acceptance and happiness for all my relationships.
Sometimes we expect individuals to be all things to us at once or know exactly how we feel. Each of us faces challenges, all of which are not apparent, even to the best of friends. I learned to see each friendship for the unique quality it offered me. Some friends were great for deep conversations, some were great for a night on the town, and others offered a funny banter. We have to forgive one another and seek fullness from within.
If a friendship starts to feel like an obligation, or if you feel guilt, you may be trying to give too much. You have amazing things to give, and your best friends should want what you are able to share, and not expect more.
Think of your friend often, laugh about old times, and share great stories. If none of the above applies, then it might be time to let this friendship go. The stories they laugh at and the subtle references everyone else gets go completely over your head. If you believe this is happening to you and your best friend, it might be a good idea to kindly address your concerns.
And this is completely okay. Friendships will come and go as time goes on. And while you may want to hold onto everyone you meet, Dr. Our parents had known each other for several years, and so we were introduced as babies, both only a few months old. From that day on, our lives followed very similar trajectories. We went to nursery, primary and secondary school together. We saw each other six days of nearly every week for the best part of fifteen years.
We were there for every birthday party, every homework crisis and, whenever a school project required a partner, she was standing there beside me. We lived ten minutes from each other and, throughout our entire childhoods, our every interest was shared. When we were seven, we both received portable stereos for our birthdays and spent months making up dance routines.
When we were thirteen, we took up trampolining. It was easy to be best friends because our lives intersected at every junction.
But eventually we started to move in different directions. Distance was forced upon us when we attended universities in different parts of the country. Although we vowed not to let that come between us, it inevitably had an impact as we made new friends and began new relationships. I went travelling with my then-boyfriend, interrailing through various cities, visiting a different place every day and spending nights squeezed into bunkbeds on trains. She took a similar trip with her university friends.
I lived with my parents after graduating, while she spent another year studying; sharing a house with eight others and maintaining an active student social life and sitting exams, too. Our friendship seemed to be splintering.
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