Why kids disobey

Page Content. What can be done about a chronically disobedient child? What parents can do When you have a chronically disobedient child, examine the possible sources of his inner turmoil and rebelliousness. If this has been a persistent pattern that has continued into middle childhood, closely evaluate your own family situation: How much respect do your family members show for one another?

Are disagreements resolved through rational discussion, or do people regularly argue or resort to violence? What is your usual style of relating to your child, and what forms does discipline usually take?

Do you and your child have very different personalities and ways of getting along in the world that cause friction between you? If there is a persistent, long-standing pattern of disrespect of authority both at school and at home. If the patterns of disobedience continue in spite of your best efforts to encourage your child to communicate his negative feelings. If a child shows signs of generalized unhappiness -- perhaps talking of feeling blue, unliked, friendless, or even suicidal.

If your family has developed a pattern of responding to disagreements with physical or emotional abuse. If you or your spouse or child use alcohol or other drugs to feel better or cope with stress. The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

Follow Us. But why do you think kids disobey? Let us look in some real reasons behind it. They want to know what is lying behind, what is the reason, how is it possible, who has done this, can they also do this, and a lot many weird questions like this go through their mind day and night, every moment while they are growing.

If you ask them not to do something, they will get curious to know what will happen if they do that thing. They love to test your limits and you got to deal with it with patience and love. You cannot get mad because that may make them more stubborn. You got to be good in reasoning of why you have asked them not to do or do a certain thing. They are struggling to sort out how to act, how to behave, what is more important for them, what is less priority thing, and a lot many things like that.

They start making distinctions between different kinds of rules while reasoning about emotions and decisions. They get confused while deciding if obeying your orders is right or wrong.

So they may tend to disobey. They Are ChoosyIt is difficult to introduce new things to the kids. They become very choosy at an early age. If you have an opinion, which is not very likely to what they are thinking, that may lead them to disobey you. They Are MoodySometimes your kids just do not want to listen to you.

They are moody and they want to do what they think will make them happy or they want to do something what they think will make you mad. This is a real bad reason of being disobedient but you may have to deal with it. It gets difficult to fight with their mood when they become adamant and stubborn; they just tend to disobey purposely.

They Want AttentionKids love attention. They want the whole crowd to look at them or talk to them. They will disobey you and do things that you have asked them not to do, just so that you come up to them and ask or scream at them why they did something which they are not supposed to. Children want to please their parents. They want love and affection and attention from parents.

The child feels labeled and knows his every move is being watched. Then every move and every mistake is magnified until the pressure is overwhelming to your child. And this turns into anger at you. If your child repeatedly ignores your instruction then something else is going on.

Are they trying to tell you something? There are many things, but the good news is this… your child wants you to understand them. One of the first things I would initiate and have myself initiated with a child who is struggling emotionally or with chronic refusal to comply with your rules is Special Playtime. Essentially, you are going to have a 30 minute session once a week and once a week only with your child for 8 or so weeks at a time.

You will be flabbergasted at what you see. My child complains about chores and cleaning up. This will motivate him without me having to lecture. My child hits his brother when they get riled up. Instead, I can point out when he displays kind behaviors these cards will help you do that systematically and teach him how to express his emotions without hitting.

Then I can listen to his concerns and feelings about his brother without freaking out. I can do Special Playtimes with him to let him work through his feelings. If you are generally a consistent parent who has reasonable rules and shows love and attention to your child, yet they are on a disobedient streak… relationship is the first place to look. Start brainstorming rules to make your family life more peaceful, connected, and strong!

I read the title of this and it brought me to tears. Much appreciated. Relationship and connection with our children should be at the top of our priorities as parents. This can feel to a parent like your child is always testing the limits. This task is one that never goes away and needs constant refining and reminding along the way. Labeling actually holds us back as parents. Terms like the terrible twos, bratty teenager, and even strong-willed child are all labels that limit our own will as parents.

I mean, every mom is struggling with their teenager, right? Kids will always rise to our expectations! Also, if your child is under another type of stress like academic pressure or too many high-stress activities they may feel the need to blow off steam which often looks like getting into trouble. When dealing with a disobedient child we should be focused on finding solutions as to why the disobedience is happening in the first place.

Instead of being totally punishment focused. Backtalk, intentional disrespect and lying are non-negotiable offenses in our home that always get addressed in some way. Part of good parenting is establishing those healthy boundaries we talked about. And the only way those boundaries are effective is if we hold our kids to them.

If your child repeatedly forgets to turn in their homework resulting in poor grades, you must have already established consequences set in advance. If we say they lose their phone for a month if their grade falls to a C, then they lose their phone for a month. Trust me I hear you.